the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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