you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Randomize
