im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
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