if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Randomize
