You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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