so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
