He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
