i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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