There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
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I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
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You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
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