What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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