I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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