So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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