Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Your topless pictures make me question reality
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
