4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
