We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize
