if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
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