Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
