I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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