you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
