I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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