We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
