You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Randomize
