I wannas sexs uuuuu
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
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