Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
