Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
you would pick up someone in the library
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
