do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize