I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
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