I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
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