Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
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