Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
