She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
