I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
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