allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
