Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
