It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
