so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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