you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
