I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Randomize
