Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Randomize
