After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
