the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
