My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
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