I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
