This is not my ceiling
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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