And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
