I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
