paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize