it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.