Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
