How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
