I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
