You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
