And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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