a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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