I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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