winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
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