my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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