He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
