i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
two words: eviction party
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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