How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize