so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
