She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
