you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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