At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
The beer is more important than you right now.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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