There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
